Dispelling Gloom—Easter drama

Central Baptist Church, Lowesville, VA

08 April 2007

Peter: It still seems like a blur. It is hard to grasp the reality of those days. Even remembering what happened is difficult. We were all cast into a gloom and despair that had completely demoralized us. Life seemed to have ended along with our dreams, hopes, and confident take on life.

Mary: The men were at a loss. Some of us women just got on with the business that fell on us. It’s what we were used to, anyhow. Like carrying the water as daily routine, we took up the burden of seeing to Jesus’ burial arrangements. To be honest, we felt a little more freedom to stay with the teacher in those last hours, for no one was too concerned with women following after Jesus, anyway. We were no threat to anyone’s power, whether that of Rome or the chief priests.

Peter: I still can’t get over it. Jesus knew what was coming. Jesus told us what was coming. We just could not get it through our heads that he was serious. We felt like we were misunderstanding him in some way. I mean, he couldn’t just walk into a trap like that. His enemies could not take him without help. They were always concerned about the crowds who followed Jesus. The Romans could have marched in at any time, but we had seen Jesus’ walk away from crowds of enemies before. Why should this time have been any different?

Mary: Maybe it was harder for the men. Their take on it all was different, anyway. In one sense, they had more at stake to lose. In another sense, we did. You see, on that last night with Jesus, they still were thinking they would receive political power. They were expecting Jesus to inaugurate the messianic kingdom, giving his faithful disciples positions of privilege. As women, we did not hope for direct claims of power. We knew our place. Yet it was in this distinction with the men we had so much to lose with Jesus’ death. He had counted us just as worthy to be disciples. He spoke with us in public, allowed us to sit at his feet, and taught us of God’s coming reign.

Peter: The night of Jesus’ betrayal, I vowed never to forget my allegiance to him. He had told us that one of our number would betray him, but I was determined never to be that one. He looked at me with forgiveness, letting me know that I would not only desert him, but deny knowing him. The most amazing thing, however, was that he was already granting me forgiveness—even before I had stooped to deny him! He said, “Peter, when you come to your senses after denying me three times, strengthen the others.” What kind of forgiveness is that?

Mary: All the men deserted him. Judas betrayed him with a kiss, but all the others fled soon after. Peter went about the furthest to defend Jesus, cutting an ear off a servant of the high priest. Jesus halted the violence. He had preached the ways of peace, and he was determined to live by them as well. Once he had healed the man’s ear, he allowed the guard to carry him off. The disciples scattered in fear and confusion.

Peter: It was painful to see Jesus arrested and carted off like that. We were all afraid. I had a contact at the high priest’s home, so I followed at a safe distance. They let me in the garden area, where I waited and watched the proceedings. That was where I so miserably failed him. Accused of being one of Jesus’ followers, I could not handle the uncertainty of what they might do to me. I denied even knowing him. Remorseful at my betrayal, I fled the scene. Only the women followed along.

Mary: It was easier for us to follow the proceedings. After all, we were women, and supposed to follow along in the shadows, watching powerlessly what became of the men we relied upon. No one really looked twice in our direction. Women did not hold the keys of power, and were not threatening to any. Of course, there was also John. He rejoined us at the foot of the cross, but that was later on. In the meantime, we were left to watch and weep as the events of Jesus’ mock trial took place.

Peter: I ran away in shame, dejected at my failure to follow through on my vows never to forsake him. I had pictured taking up arms and fighting with the men of Israel. When Jesus all but turned himself in to the authorities, it just took the wind out of my sails. I did not know how to fight that way. I did not understand how loving my enemies would bring about any kind of kingdom victory. Sure, Jesus had taught about love, taken care of the poorest and neediest, healed the sick, and fed the hungry. He had accepted people under an all-encompassing love, but I could not make the leap to apply that to ushering in his messianic kingdom. It was just too much to swallow at once.

Mary: None of us were really clear about it. He had spoken of his impending death, but no one wanted to accept the truth of his words. We tried to convince ourselves that we should take them as figurative, exaggeration, or some such. Even anointing him for burial at Lazarus’ home in Bethany was a stretch to accept his words. We wanted to trust him as speaking the truth, but some things we were just not able to take in fully.

Peter: They led him from the high priest’s house, taking him back and forth between Pilate and Herod. The whole trial was a farce, but that was not our concern. We were not worried about the false testimony, the illegal death council, or the political struggles between the Jewish and Roman authorities. We were struggling to understand why Jesus allowed it all to proceed. We had known for some time that he had enemies in positions of power. We knew also that they were afraid of causing a reaction from the crowd. There were still multitudes hoping he would act for their release. The authorities had worked hard to undermine that popular support. Why didn’t Jesus allow his followers to rise up to usher in the kingdom as expected? What sense did giving up at the height of popular support make?

Mary: It was all painful to watch—more so because we knew he could have so easily ended it all differently. He had never taken the short cuts in life, however. He had never preached that one should seek out the easy or simple path. He spoke of the kingdom as living the tough choices at great personal expense. “Love your enemies,” he had said. “To him who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other as well.” It was so painful to watch him live out the words he had preached to the crowds. As he had taught, however, so he lived. For his integrity, he died.

Peter: This was not what we had wanted. We still thought of power and ruling as carried out through the persuasion of force. Deep down, we still wanted to love our friends and hate our enemies. We wanted vengeance and others to serve us as we had been forced to serve. Jesus tried to teach us a better way, but he had to prove it in example before we could catch on. He had washed our feet that night, but we still had not grasped the reality of loving service. We could not accept such humility and release of status, position, and rights as a gift of God’s love. We still had not let go of selfish ambition.

Mary: We watched in agony. As Jesus was ridiculed, mocked, and mutilated, so our own pride, dreams, and hopes were dashed to the ground. If he was stepped on, we carried the burden of our own powerlessness and despair. The gloom encroached further at every insult, injury, and bloodied step. Watching Jesus give in to the brutal attack was the hardest experience of our lives. We so wanted to intervene, yet could not lift a finger. Jesus could have halted it all, yet he refused to interfere with the outrage poured upon him. He accepted the full brunt of human hostility against God’s reign of love.

Peter: We were afraid. We were concerned that the fury unleashed against Jesus would turn in our direction once he was finished. All our hopes and dreams were placed on him and ripped to shreds as he refused to use the tools of force. And yet he exuded strength. It was not the strength of physical force and intimidation. It was not the power to injure, maim, and kill. It was the power of peace amid all the injury, pain, and anger hurled against him. I did not have that strength. I was terrified that I might be called upon to respond to similar insult, injury, and punishment without that quality of victorious peace. I was afraid I would fail that test utterly. We had not yet learned to live as Jesus was teaching us to die.

Mary: We wished it might just end. It was too terrible to take in. The force used against Jesus was terrifying, yet he displayed no antagonism. It was as if they hoped to incite him to fight back by ratcheting up the violence against him. Jesus simply took the punishment with an offer of forgiveness to those who so abused him. His words are still haunting. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” We barely knew what we were doing, either. We watched in a stupor as the gloom descended and deepened all around us. We despaired for Jesus, though he was more concerned for us. His confidence was unsettling.

Peter: When I left the high priest’s house, all I wanted to do was hide. By morning, I was back in the shadows, keeping a safe distance between myself and the proceedings. It was painful to watch, but I could not really stay away. Somehow, being there at the edge of Jesus’ passion was part of the process of understanding three years of teaching and ministry. It was as if we were only now hearing his words for the first time. It still didn’t make any sense, however. Why after all the time teaching, preaching, healing, and rising in popularity among the people would Jesus throw it all away by giving himself up into their hands?

Mary: The crowds who had joined in the cheering and hosannas changed as the chief priests incited onlookers to shout for Jesus’ crucifixion. To be honest, it was not the same crowd. With close to a million pilgrims in Jerusalem for Passover, it was a simple thing to trade off one crowd for another. These were those hungry to watch violence and gain a quick profit. Pilate knew what was going on, but he refused to halt the proceedings. All the while, Jesus had not a word to say in his own defense, though according to Roman law that was admission of guilt. He did nothing to avoid the torment on its way.

Peter: After being flogged to within an inch of life, he was dragged off to Golgotha. He didn’t have the physical strength left to carry the cross beam. He just stumbled down the road. We could not imagine why he would not put a stop to this senseless travesty. We stood by helpless. We would have loved to release him from Roman custody, but he had forbidden violence against his oppressors. He trudged along, dashing our hopes and dreams further with each step. Gloom and despair thickened with each passing minute.

Mary: It was all we could bear to follow along in despair. Sure, Jesus had predicted this death. He had told us what to expect, but that just didn’t make it any easier. We had not the foggiest idea of why this was really necessary. He had forgiven people of sins for which the law demanded death. He had expressed God’s love to those society rejected as worthless. He had lived with sinners, calling them to adopt God’s standard of love, yet without condemning them outright. Why should he have to die in order to redeem a nation? He had announced the gospel of God’s love and grace. Why could he not bring about this realm of peace without going through all this suffering and death?

Peter: We heard his words of forgiveness on the cross. He announced God’s love, grace, and acceptance for the thief dying beside him. He gave in to death, expressing confidence in God’s care. It was as though all our expectations, dreams, and desires were annihilated at once. How would we live without him? Three years had been such a short time. At the height of our hope that he would bring about the expected liberation of Israel, he gave in to all those who opposed him.

Mary: We watched where they took his body down from the cross. We followed as they lay him in a tomb, so that we might return after the Sabbath to prepare his body for proper burial. We hurried back in our despair before the falling of the Sabbath. That celebration lacked any sense of joy and redemption. It was a struggle to worship, for there seemed no reason left for worshipping.

Peter: We hid in fear that they might come after us. With all the anger and violence directed at Jesus, it was hard to believe that they would leave well-enough alone. When Jesus had refused to lift a finger in his defense, the anger and hatred against him escalated even more. The violence became empty, as it granted no sense of justification or release. We expected it to turn against us at any moment.

Mary: With sunrise after the Sabbath was over, some of us left for the tomb to prepare Jesus body. As we left to escape the gloom and despair of that Sabbath, we were taken by surprise. If we had been confused before, nothing made sense anymore. At the tomb we were told that Jesus was alive! The gloom lifted, but confusion reigned as never before. We hurried back, some afraid to mention what we had heard. I told Peter what I had heard and seen. He and John tore out for Gethsemane.

Peter: Mary’s words made no sense. We had no idea what had gotten into her. A woman’s word was not worth much in court. This had to be supporting evidence that they were prone to imagine things that never occurred. Were we in for a shock at the tomb! The stone covering the tomb’s entrance was rolled aside. The guard was gone. There was no corpse.

Mary: “Why are you looking for the living among the dead?” The words had a haunting effect. They began dispelling the gloom that had settled over each one of us. We still did not know how to respond, but our new uncertainty had a hint of joy to it. We didn’t know what to do with that message. It didn’t make any sense. It was so contrary to what we were expecting. Life was in complete turmoil, even more so than while Jesus was being marched through trial, torture, and death. Yet this turmoil was of unexpected joy. We did not know what to do with the gloom of grief we had been carrying. We did not know where to turn next.

Peter: The gloom lifted suddenly, but now we had to review what Jesus had tried to teach us. He had prepared us for his death—his resurrection, as well. He had spoken of laying down one’s life on behalf of others. He had spoken of God’s realm as completely different from the power structures of this world. We had been too slow to understand what he had meant. It was only now that the filters we used were showing up as worthless. We had been the blind, deaf, and lame to which Jesus had ministered. It began to clear as the gloom lifted that this had been Jesus’ plan all along. He had spoken of going away, yet not leaving us alone. There had been no reason to protect his life. He never needed our protection!

Mary: The gloom was dispelled, but the haze of confusion lingered. Amid the confusion, however, was a new joy and excitement we had never known. We also began to recognize a new sense of responsibility before Jesus’ words of life. If Jesus had lived out their fullness, he really did expect all who would follow after God’s reign to do the same.

Peter: If John and I had trouble accepting the words of the women, our own accounts also were received with doubt and strange looks. The weight of meaning behind Jesus’ resurrection was just as disturbing as his passion and death had been. Though he had warned us of his death, we had not accepted its reality. He had told us that he would come back to life, but we’d had even more trouble grasping his resurrection.

Mary: We left the garden with joy, confusion, and wonder. We struggled between desire to let everyone know the glorious news of resurrection and the recognition that it would be so difficult for people to accept. Even more, we struggled with how we would allow what we had learned in Jesus words take root in light of the news of resurrection. He had given everything that we might live in the new awareness of God’s reign. Were we willing to live the same way?

Peter: It took a while to process the significance of what we had witnessed and heard. It was a struggle to cast aside the filters we had used for so long, in order that we might hear Jesus’ words as he had intended them. It is still a struggle—as difficult and painful as the passion we witnessed in fear. With the gloom dispelled, however, there is a new hope in following after Jesus in this life above the fray of violent passions.

Mary: Perhaps you would join us in following after the one who gained the ultimate victory over death, violence, revenge, anger, and the selfish passions of sin. After all, he lived the way he taught us to live. He died to show us the way. He rose again to bring the lesson home.

Peter: While we awaited God’s reign as a political entity, we missed the reality of living under the peace of God’s reign. Amid the gloom of life’s distress, Jesus granted life and victory to those who would cast their all upon God’s care and provision.

Mary: Will you join us in allowing our resurrected Master to live and reign through our lives? He gave his all that we might receive God’s best. He calls us to lay down the gloom of our worthless pursuits to gain that which is worth ever so much more.

Together: Won’t you join us in the glory of Jesus’ resurrection? Life hangs in the balance.

—©2007 Christopher B. Harbin