Thelma Letterman Mann

2^nd Samuel 12:15-23

We gather here to celebrate Thelma Mann’s life. We gather to honor her contribution and impact on our lives and the lives of many others, as well. We mourn her passing, for she has left a hole in many lives—a void that no one else will be able to fill. Each one of her family and friends suffers from a different loss. Thelma was to some a mother, to others a mother-in-law, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother, a patient, or a friend. Each one misses her in a different capacity, for she touched our hearts and lives as individuals.

Death makes a big impact on the lives of those left behind. We grieve at the sense of loss from being separated from one we have loved, and yet grief is not so much about the one departed as it is about ourselves. We rejoice with Thelma’s passing, for she is free from the effects of cancer, the struggle to breathe, the discomfort, and the limitations she suffered in her final weeks and days. Even so, we grieve, for in her passing, our lives have been somehow lessened. We must rebuild our own lives in Thelma’s absence.

David’s experience of grief in 2nd Samuel 12:15-23 strikes a discordant note from what we might expect. His actions and reactions caught his servants and counselors by surprise as well. While his child was ill, suffering, and on the verge of death, David grieved, fasted, prayed, and sought God’s intervention and grace. Upon the child’s death, David arose and resumed life anew.

While David’s actions here are not to be seen as the model for our own, they convey a lesson about our task of grieving and seeking God’s presence and intervention. Life is about the living and the demands and options of today. David’s actions focus our attention on the fact that what is passed cannot be changed. It is over. Now is the time to work with today’s issues, determining God’s direction in our present and for our future.

While Thelma was ill, we grieved for her. Now we begin the process of grieving for ourselves. That is today’s task. Today is a time of celebrating Thelma’s life and freedom from disease. Today is also a time of grieving over our pain, distress, and the void her passing has left in our lives.

David did not have the rich experience of watching his sick newborn child grow. He likely had little contact with the newborn, given the time and his kingly station as chief over a harem. He did seem to distinguish between the issues at hand that did and did not require his attention. He focused his life on the questions of how he would respond and lead beyond the event of death, loss, pain, and the ending of a season.

He began to focus on comforting Bathsheba in her loss, accepting God’s definitive answer to his prayer and fasting, and rebuilding life without the child he had hoped would live. Given that he could not change the past, he began the process of re-ordering his present. Accepting the past and moving on with life is one lesson I saw reflected in Thelma’s life.

Visiting with her in the hospital, nursing home, and assisted living, one could note that she had accepted the changes in her life occasioned by cancer and its treatment. She accepted her limitations and their impact on her body. She accepted them and gave her attention to living life with its limitations. Accepting these limitations was not always easy, but she did it with a sweet and gentle spirit.

Others commented on her sweet spirit. It was this strength of character that had spurred some at Babcock Manor to adopt her as their own grandma. Thelma’s gentle spirit was noted by others sharing their concern at her recent hospitalization. The staff who cared for her spoke well of her, as did other residents.

We will miss her gentle spirit and quiet way. We grieve the loss her passing has brought to our lives. We begin today the process of remaking our lives in her absence. There will be no more gatherings around her bed, no more visits to see her at the nursing home or hospital. No more visits with her on special occasions. No more concern over her health and care.

There are still memories of how she impacted our lives, however. While Thelma is no longer present with us, those memories still linger, touching our lives, impacting our decisions, and encouraging us to face the issues of today with her same touch of grace, gentleness, and caring.

In truth, we grieve today not over Thelma, but over what we have lost in her passing. Even in her death, however, she will continue to touch our lives as we remember her gifts and the ways she has touched each one. Over time, we embark with David on the process of making sense of our present in light of our loss. We begin the process of healing, working around the void Thelma has left.

In this process of grief and rebuilding our lives, may we find encouragement in Thelma’s faith in Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior. May her legacy of faith continue to comfort and strengthen us in the days and years ahead. She is in good hands—the hands of Jesus Christ, her Lord and Savior. May we be encouraged to follow her example of faith, extending her legacy and impact on the lives of others.

—©Copyright 2006 Christopher B. Harbin

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